Word crawl/Space Crawl

It’s time, my friends, to traverse the Solar System! This is the first crawl I’ve written, so I hope it’s somewhat decent.

You have stolen some sort of ~magical~ spacecraft with the ability to travel through space at a speed faster than any previous vessel. Now the people who built it are after you, and mad. Your mission is to traverse the Solar System, achieve escape velocity, and escape into interstellar space.

• To achieve escape velocity from the Solar System, you must first achieve escape velocity from Earth. Escape velocity for Earth is about 25,000 miles per hour. The highly superior technology of this spacecraft allows you to drop a couple of zeroes, so write 250 words in order to achieve the speeds needed.
• You’ve made it to the Moon! To fuel up for the trip ahead, you decided to descend to the Moon’s surface and collect some helium-3. But you’d better do it quickly, or you’ll be caught! Write 175 words in 10 minutes or less. If you fail, just “reset” reality and try again.
• All fueled up and ready to go, you head inward. You do a flyby of Venus. Sprint 100 words to avoid having your course altered by its gravity.
• You fly by Mercury. But what’s this? The Messenger probe has been taken over by the people chasing you! Sprint 200 words to escape!
• That was a close call. You’re nearing the Sun now. Sprint for 15 minutes to do “barrel rolls” and evenly distribute the Sun’s heat across your spacecraft.
• You’ve swung around the Sun, and now have a nice gravity assist helping you out! Write 100 words to take a breather from all that excitement.
• You’re flying by Earth! Sprint for 10 minutes to avoid being detected.
• Next up is Mars! Write three hundred words in representation of the rocks Barnacle Bill, Scooby Doo, and Yogi.
• You are now entering the asteroid belt. But what’s this? A cloud of tiny asteroid chunks is headed toward your ship! Use Random.org to pick a random number between 1 and 10. If the number is more than 5, your ship was severely damaged. You must write 600 words in order to fix it. If the number is less than 5, you have survived. Write that many hundred words in celebration.
• You feel it before you see it; or rather, your ship does. Its instruments pick up a large gravity field nearby: Jupiter. Write four hundred words as a tribute to Europa, Ganymede, Callisto, and Io, Jupiter’s 4 largest moons.
• Saturn, the ringed planet, is next. But, uh-oh! Your ship has gotten too close to Saturn’s rings, and is now being bombarded by high-speed rocks and ice particles. Sprint 350 words to escape.
• Next is Uranus. Stop snickering! As penance for your immature jokes, sprint 500 words.
• Now, Neptune comes along. You’re so close; you can feel it! Your excitement gets the best of you; you decide to sprint 100 words.
• But Neptune was not the final part of the Solar System. Next up is the Kuiper Belt! You fly by Pluto. Choose a random moon of Pluto (Charon, Nix, Hydra, Styx, or Kerberos). However many letters are in its name, write that many hundred words.
• You’re so close you can smell it. You streak past the Kuiper belt, and past Eris. You do a ten-minute word war to pass the time until the Oort Cloud.
• Your ship seems to have come equipped with a “Screw Reality” feature, you realize. You reach the Oort Cloud sooner than expected, but are on a collision course with a comet! Do a ten-minute sprint. If you write between 100 and 200 words, you narrowly avoid hitting the comet. Thankful to be alive, you write 400 words. If you write 300+ words, you miss the comet entirely. If you write 200-300 words, you avoid the comet, but your course is altered. You decide to write 200 words for some reason. If you write less than 100 words, you fail miserably and crash into the comet.
• Finally! You’ve reached full escape velocity, long since passed the heliosheath, and are now, finally, exiting the Oort Cloud. You do a song war for the duration of this in celebration. Congratulations, you have successfully escaped the Solar System!
• BONUS: Do a quick song war to this.