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Word crawl/Orange is the New Black Crawl

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THEME SONG: Let’s start with an easy one. After all, “you’ve got time” in prison and you’re not going to be able to take it easy after you arrive at Litchfield. Write until the end of the song.

WHAT'S YOUR CRIME? Uh oh, so it looks like you got caught. You did the crime and now you're doing the time. You’ve heard rumours of the crazy characters in the pen, but you’ll survive – you’re a tough lady, right? Besides, you’re not in here for too long. Or are you? Roll the dice.

1-2: You’re nothing but a dirty thief. Sprint 250 words.

3-5: Money laundering? Hmmm, not great! That’s a ten minute word war for you, missy.

6: You’re one of those rare, evil ladies with a heart of stone – a MURDERER. Do a fifteen minute word war. If you killed off a character, add another 100 words on top of that. Haven’t you learnt your lesson yet?!

SQUAT AND COUGH: The first hurdle you have to face is the dreaded “squat and cough”. Like you’d ever sneak anything in! Get it over with by doing a five minute word war. Now roll the dice. Get 1-4 and you’re free to go. 5-6? Not so lucky – they’ve found contraband on your person. Sprint to 100 words in two minutes. If you fail, try again until you manage to get away.

A BIG HETERO HELLO TO YOU ALL! Phew, you’re finally ready to settle in. The CO issues your fetching orange jumpsuit and shows you to your bunk, where you meet three of your fellow inmates. Sprint to 200 words as you introduce yourself.

GET A WIFE: Of course, fresh meat like you can’t be without every felon’s favourite accessory: a prison wife. She’ll look out for you. Who will be yours? Roll the dice.

1-2: oh man, looks like you’re stuck with Warren – and you can see why the other inmates call her “Crazy Eyes”. Do a 15 minute word war…after all, that’s how long it takes you to find a suitable hiding place.

3-4: you got Poussey! You know you’ll be safe with her, as she steers you away from the chaos and takes you to the library for a chat. Write a leisurely 300 words.

5-6: Big Boo is your lady. She’s welcoming…perhaps a little too welcoming. Better give her a chance though, right? Do a five minute word war as she flirts with you.

FEEDING TIME: You go off to an uninspiring dinner with your new prison wife. It’s disgusting – did this come out of a packet? A woman in chef’s whites with bright red hair walks past, and you assume she’s responsible. Roll the dice.

1-3: you ignore her and get on with your meal by doing a 10 minute word war.

4-6: you fool! You make the mistake of complaining. Red had nothing to do with that food! Redeem yourself by doing her a solid 20 minute word war.

TWO PEOPLE, WITH FOUR OTHER PEOPLE AND ALIENS: After dinner, you are free to entertain yourself until lights out. Some of the inmates go to watch TV, but word is spreading around that Crazy Eyes has written a new chapter of The Time Hump Chronicles. You’re keen to get in on the action. Sprint 500 words as you read it with equal measures of horror and intrigue.

THE CHICKENING: The next day, you’re out in the courtyard when you spot something amazing, something magical. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's...Well, yes, it is actually a bird – a chicken to be precise. You only catch a glimpse of it. Sprint to the nearest hundred.

VISITATION: As you go back inside, raving about the chicken to anyone who will listen, a visitor arrives. How exciting – your first visitor! You go to meet them, and they say they have some news. Roll the dice.

1-3: Good news! You’ve actually been falsely accused and can get out once they’ve sorted out the paperwork! Celebrate with a 300 word sprint, and try to include some good news. Goodbye, Litchfield!

4-6: Bad news. Your significant other is cheating on you with your best friend. You get into a fight and sprint to the nearest thousand. Try to include some bad news. You go back to your bunk and sleep – only a few more years of this to go…